


you are mine

by sassymajesty



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassymajesty/pseuds/sassymajesty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harper insists Clarke sits beside her during mealtime, Lexa tries to ignore the clenching in her stomach and thinks nothing of it. Even if it means Clarke is several seats apart from her and she doesn’t get to speak with her, even if mealtime is the only time their schedules really allow them to be, Lexa trusts Clarke and knows whose arms she’ll fall asleep at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt "Lexa sees Clarke in a situation and gets so jealous that she can't breathe. Clarke tries to calm her down and Lexa goes full grounder on her", by dantanaisreal on Tumblr.

When Harper insists Clarke sits beside her during mealtime, Lexa tries to ignore the clenching in her stomach and thinks nothing of it. Even if it means Clarke is several seats apart from her and she doesn’t get to speak with her, even if mealtime is the only time their schedules really allow them to be, Lexa trusts Clarke and knows whose arms she’ll fall asleep at night.

Ignoring the fire constantly burning low in her chest gets harder as Clarke seems to make time in her day to spend with Harper. But she remains quiet as Clarke spends her meals chatting with Harper, making plans to go hunting and organizing gatherings with the Sky People.

The simmering rage that makes her lose her appetite doesn’t dissipate as she notices that most of the time, the two girls are accompanied by other kids from the Ark – but Harper seems to always be too close, always touching Clarke in some way, always keeping her from Lexa until late night.

Yet, Lexa contains herself. She understands that Clarke missed her friends and the battle against Mount Weather had taken its toll on her. After being sent to the ground to die, having starved and bled out, Lexa couldn’t blame Clarke for wanting a bit of home and a break from the rigid grounder lifestyle.

But understanding it doesn’t make the bitterness in the back of her throat any more bearable.

Lexa is content, for the most part – as she should be. For the first time in almost a century, Earth born people are free from the constant shadow of Mount Weather, the kids could play in the woods without fearing for the lives and now the Commander has shifted her focus from war strategies and death count to territory expansion and agricultural plans. But she couldn’t grant plantation the ability to keep her mind from wandering to how Harper is currently teaching Clarke how to swim and all the sordid scenarios that could come to be.

Sitting at her desk, Lexa is surrounded by things to do, enough to keep her busy until past night fall. The task she has currently in hands is leisure activities for her warriors – training lasted from sunrise to midday, if that much. She had entire afternoons to fill and she had barely been able to name two activities in the past hour. Glancing at the map in front of her, she takes a moment to contemplate places to take her warriors but her eyes fall to a body of water near the city that, while pretty, it was hardly suitable for warriors to spend any kind of quality time – it’s the waterfall Clarke is swimming half naked on with someone who isn’t her.

It doesn’t take Lexa much to realize she won’t be making any progress if she keeps imagining Harper’s hands running down Clarke’s wet skin, both of them giggling as they lose their footing, slipping on the moss covered rocks and grabbing onto one another in an attempt to stay afloat, their legs intertwining as they kick themselves to the surface – her charcoal splits in half in her tight grip, black shards flying across the table. She cleans it up as neatly as she can with her trembling hands, careful not to smudge the paper she’s been writing on and calls it a day.

It’ll be dark soon and Lexa tries to convince herself that she’s allowed to take a few hours to walk around the town she rules, maybe play with the kids in the now very safe streets and, if she’s truthful with herself, sulk until Clarke comes back to her.

As she walks down the streets towards a few kids playing with a rope – she’s always been rather good with jump rope, she could teach the kids a few tricks –, she barely has time to come up with one bad scenario, let alone a hundred and play them over and over in her head, before she sees Clarke walking up the street towards her.

One of the _worst_ scenarios she could’ve thought of greets her as she looks down the main street.

They’re in a big group. Bellamy and Octavia are the ones she sees first, both covered in mud from head to toe and Octavia laughs as she scrapes some of the wet sludge from her neck and flicks it at Jasper, hitting him in the face. She sees Wick carrying Raven on his back, piggyback riding style and she turns her gaze as the girl is about to run her fingers through his wet hair, deeming the moment too intimate to stare.

Her eyes drift to the pair beside them, riding in similar fashion. Clarke carried Harper on her back, her blonde curly hair soaking wet and her tank top clinking to her toned stomach. Her arm muscles twitching as her hands clutched to the bare skin of Harper’s naked thighs, that hug her torso as her arms hug Clarke’s shoulders.

Harper catches Lexa’s gaze before Clarke sees her, and the Commander doesn’t make any attempt to pretend she’s not seething. Whatever happened to Harper in Mount Weather must have toughened her, because she bows down, whispering something on Clarke’s ears, letting her lips graze on her neck without ever tearing her eyes from Lexa.

Lexa sees red. Her vision becomes blurred but she can’t tell it’s from tears stinging the back of her eyes or if her anger is blinding her. Her trail of thought is nothing more than a string of profanities directed to Harper – and some to Clarke as well – and she’s powerless to prevent herself the images that her jealous mind forms. She pictures her sword swinging in the air and meeting Harper’s throat, she imagines blood leaving her limp body and pooling at her feet. But all of those war worthy images leave her mind and one much more appealing take their place – she sees herself walking up to them, pulling Harper my her long hair and punching her in the face so hard her jaw would crack.

She schools her features until she’s sure her stoic mask is in place before she opens her eyes to stare again at the two girls. She regrets it as soon as she finds Clarke leaning in, kissing Harper’s cheek as the girl rests her hand on Clarke1s stomach.. Lexa can’t breathe – there’s a tightness in her chest that she can’t will away and the lump in her throat won’t let the air reach her lungs.

The kiss seems to be a farewell, as Clarke turns her back to the group and walks toward Lexa. She seems care free for the first time since Lexa had met her – her smile comes easy and she tosses her wet hair away from her face as she sprints the rest of the short way until Lexa. The sight is _beautiful_ – yet, it makes Lexa’s heart ache. It was Harper who made her laugh like this, not _her_.

Clarke comes into her personal space, breath hitching slightly, and leans in, sealing their lips together for a moment before stepping back, beaming at her – this was one of the Skaikru’s oddest traditions to Lexa, who still had trouble displaying that kind of affection in public even though the whole kingdom knew they were together.

“Hi, babe,” Clarke said brightly and Lexa forced her anger to simmer down a little – she had her own nickname for Clarke, a word in Trigedasleng that she never dared to explain to the blonde, and while she kept it private, Clarke used it whenever they were close enough for no one else to hear.

The word would usually soothe whatever bitterness the day had gotten into her. Right now, it didn’t nothing but add fire to her anger.

Without answering her in any fashion, Lexa stares down at Clarke before turning, knowing the blonde would follow her. She hears her name being called out but she refuses to turn around – she strides ahead, chin up and jaw clenched.

They enter the Commander’s quarters and silence weighs heavy on them. Without the quiet talk in the street to fill it, Lexa realizes how fast her heart is beating, how erratic her breathing has become, how wet her eyes were. She takes a second to gather her bearings and it takes a conscious effort for her to unclench her jaw and undo the ball her fists had become. Breathing in and out feels like a chore and when Clarke’s worried voice calls her name once again, she snaps.

Lexa turns, hair almost whipping her face as she marches toward Clarke, backing her up to a wall, angry tears tainting her eyes red, “She does not get to touch you like that,” Lexa all but screams, personal space forgotten as Lexa reacts to a threat the only way she knows how, not even bothering to give Clarke some context as she pinks the blonde against the wall, hands on each side of her head, firmly pinning her in place. “She’s not allowed to whisper in your ear, to kiss you, to-“ Lexa stops, bile threatening to rise and tears to fall. She clenches her jaw again, so hard she’s almost afraid her teeth will crack. “I’m the only one who has the right to-“

She has to cut her message short, knowing she won’t be able to control herself if she tries to power through it. Clarke blinks, taking it all in, “Is this- is this about Harper?” Lexa’s chest heaves as the name leaves Clarke’s mouth and she punches the wall, muttering profanities in her own language, “Are you _jealous_?”

Lexa could almost see a laugh forming on Clarke’s lips, “I’m not petty, I don’t do jealousy,” Lexa’s words come out as nothing but a weak attempt to mask the festering  rage in her chest as her nails scrape the wall beside Clarke’s head, “I’m not jealous of that-“ Lexa stops before uttering the less than flattering adjective she’s been relating to Harper all day.

Clarke’s hands travel up Lexa’s thighs and grip her waist firmly, stifling a laugh and cocking her head to the side, “That what?”

Showing her teeth like a caged animal would, Lexa hisses, “You’re mine,” she leans in a fraction of an inch, watching as the mockery in Clarke’s face turns into concern, “You’re mine and no one else’s,” she repeats and her voice shakes, tears stubbornly falling down her cheeks, “You’re _mine_ , Clarke.”

Her name comes out as a prayer and Lexa drops her head at the same time Clarke trails her hand up her body, until she’s cradling her face, thumb grazing her cheek, “I’m yours.” Lexa stares at blue eyes through heavy tears before dropping her head to Clarke’s shoulder, letting the tears fall as the blonde whispers into her hair, “Only yours.”


	2. Chapter 2

Her eyes snap open as she lets out a huff of air through her lips.

Clarke had given up sleep about one hour ago. She felt a burn behind her eyes and a prickling on her eyelids every time she blinked, yet, sleep refused to come to her. Instead, she stares at the cracks on the ceiling, willing them to help her find what caused Lexa to be so hurt - she had been playing the last few weeks over and over in her mind, trying to figure out what caused the almighty Commander to be so jealous of a sixteen year old criminal.

They had been spending less time together, she and Lexa.

A couple of months ago, during days that felt like two lifetimes ago, they would spend every moment together. They would eat together, plan their attacks together, worry about the future of their people together, sleep together, fight together, go to war together.

Now, times were peaceful. She had time to draw and Lexa had time to play with the village’s children.

Now that it was finally safe to be in the ground, Clarke spent most of her afternoons getting to know what has always been an impossible dream for her - she would find herself collecting leaves of all shapes and sizes, skipping rocks at a lake like Lincoln had taught her to, staring at footprints trying to figure out which animal it belonged to, researching medical properties of the vast earthly flora.

Her medical knowledge was needed in the morning, when most injuries happened - the warriors trained in the morning, sewing flesh back together after it had been sliced open by a sword was a normal day for her. Her mother would tend to the seniors and children as she dealt with broken bones and dislocated shoulders.

Lexa had given her enough charcoal and paper to last her a lifetime, and more often than not she could be found at sunset near the lake or the town square, drawing children playing, waterfalls she could only have dreamed of and, more often than not, Lexa.

The Commander’s schedule had become far less busy after the Mount Weather fall. She would oversee the training in the morning - and sometimes sneak into Clarke’s makeshift exam room to kiss her good morning - and the afternoons were reserved for meetings with guards and their seconds, planning not wars, but territorial expansion and improvements they could make.

Those meetings could go on for hours or they could end quickly, Clarke could never tell - and that made Lexa less prone to go around the woods discovering new sights with her.

She did try to keep her nights as free as she could, but moonshine around a bonfire only happened in the evenings, and although their time inside the mountain had been hell, they all had good stories to share. Clarke had missed her people, she had craved the familiarity of getting drunk and playing coin games after being apart for so long.

At some point between placing bones back in place and listening to Monty tell for the thousandth time the story about Jasper getting sick after eating too much cake, she had hurt the person she cared about the most.

Looking over to her left, she finds Lexa’s restless form. Clarke hasn’t slept at all and she has seen the Commander tossing and turning all night, murmuring pained words in her shallow sleep. There had been some quiet moments in which Clarke could swear Lexa had been awake, unwilling to turn around and talk to her.

Either if Lexa was sleeping or faking it, she would let her. They could talk in the morning.

Her father’s watch shows a straight line across the display - five minutes past five in the morning, but she can’t be sure. Each second seems to take a full minute to pass and she gets up with the first rays of sunlight.

She walks slowly towards the river, stretching as she goes, stopping to swipe dew off a leaf. They have a few months until winter - seasons is also a new concept for her, the whole idea that a tilt in Earth’s rotation can make her freeze to death or sweat through her shirt sounds absurd - and she doesn’t think twice before jumping in the water, wearing nothing but her underthings.

It’s cold. It cuts through her and pierces her skin, making her stomach turn and her teeth chatter.

And all she can think to do is to swim deeper.

Swimming has quickly become her favorite thing to do. Ever since Finn had dragged her into a river to calm her down from her hurry, she had fallen in love with it. The weightless sensation feels like home - her mom had explained to her why she felt like this, but she couldn’t be bothered to remember.

Clarke lets the current drag her a little down the river before she swims back up, feet kicking at nothing and yet, projecting her forwards. She sinks and floats, swims and stands, enjoys the sunrise and barely realizes how long she’s been in the water until the sun is higher than she had expected.

She strides back into town with her clothes sticking to her wet skin, but she feels clean. She feels ready.

Knowing Lexa would be at the training camp, Clarke ignores the dining room and walks towards the sound of metal clashing against metal. She finds Lexa wearing simple clothing - a loose tank top and leather pants, her sword firmly place on her hips - and her face barred of any make up.

“You left,” Lexa says as soon as Clarke is within reach, but her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s just an observation.

Shifting closer, Clarke runs her fingers down her arm, lightly tracing the tattoo she knows by heart by now, and leans in to give her a light kiss on the corner of her mouth, “I went down the river and I ended up losing notion of time.”

Lexa’s jaw clenches, “Did you go with Harper?”

Well, so much for approaching it carefully. “No,” Clarke states firmly, and lets her fingers intertwine loosely with Lexa’s, “Can we talk? In private?”

Nodding once, Lexa breaks apart from her, shouting something in Trigedasleng to one of her guards before leading Clarke to her exam room. There’s not much in the room, except for two tables - one for the patient to lie down on, other where she keeps the tools and medicines she uses most often with the warriors - so they don’t have many options as to where they’ll stand once the door falls closed.

“Where did you get this idea I’m cheating on you with Harper?”

“I believe cheating is simply another word for betraying,” Lexa keeps a stoic façade and Clarke has to keep herself from yelling at her to cut the crap. The Commander touches her sword, as she often does when she feels threatened, and spits out, “I’ve seen you two together,” her jaw clenches and unclenches a few times before she finds it in her to continue, as if what she’s about to say next might as well break her, “Care to explain why you spend every meal and most of your free time with her?”

“I don’t,” Clarke takes a step closer to Lexa, who keeps her ground but inhales sharp, “I’m not spending my meals with her, I’m helping Wick and Raven come up with a plumbing system for the other villages – they do the math, I do the biology. And Harper wants to learn how to be a mechanic, she’s Raven pupil or some shit, but she’s also interested in healthcare.” Lexa nods slowly and almost wary, and Clarke waits a heartbeat before talking again, “Lunch and dinner is the only time both Wick and Raven are free, so we update each other then.”

Breathing in and out sharply once more, Lexa turns around and takes a few steps away from Clarke, keeping herself busy with the bottles that fill the second smaller table. Clarke gives her the space she needs, watching her back stiffening and the muscles relaxing a few moments later.

She still has her back turned to Clarke when she speaks again, “You stay up late with your friends and I assumed-“

Clarke shrugs and has to force herself to stay still and not trace the part of Lexa’s back tattoo that is showing, “We mostly tell jokes and get drunk on moonshine. I’ve told you before, you should come.”

“It’s not my place”

“But it is.” Clarke’s voice is firm and this time she does take a step closer, not yet reaching out but close enough for Lexa to feel her body near, “You’re my girlfriend, you should get to hear how great my pickup lines are when I’m drunk”

It makes Lexa chuckle softly - she had heard some of Clarke’s pick up lines and she had been amused, but not turned on in the slightest - and Clarke smiles, remembering how the older girl would roll her eyes and pretend to be irritated when her pickup lines went from bad to worse as the night progressed.

“What about yesterday? What did Harper tell you before you let her down from your back?” Lexa looks over her shoulder, not daring to meet Clarke’s eyes yet.

“Oh,” Clarke smiles at the memory, “She said she wished Monty would look at her the same way you look at me.” Harper had confided on Clarke her feelings for Monty - they had bonded inside the mountain and now she didn’t know how to figure out if he liked her only as a friend. If the way he looked at her was anything to go by, Harper was bound to have her heart broken. “Did you- Did you really think Harper and I- or just-”

Clarke can’t bring herself to finish the thought, the mere thought causing shivers to go down her spine.

“Mostly Harper. I thought she was interested in you,” Lexa does turn around now, and Clarke takes it as a cue to step closer, softly placing her hands on Lexa’s forearms, needing to feel them around her waist.

“Oh, no, she doesn’t even like girls. She’s just a friend,” her voice is firm, she means it and wants Lexa to know. She had never meant for Lexa to be hurt in any way and, for Clarke and any Sky Person, their relationship looked as nothing but friendship. But grounders had different ways to show affection, different standards for friendship and romantic love, and Clarke knows she should have paid more attention to that.

“And what about you?”

She promises herself to try and learn more about Lexa’s culture, her way to see the world, to take the time to unravel every secret and wish Lexa has. If she lets her.

“I have only eyes for you”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt like Clarke deserved a chance to show her side.  
> And just a reminder, jealousy can _definitely_ make you see what's really not there. ;)


End file.
